I knew thee

Jeremiah 1:5: Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

When I look behind, I ask how can this be? Lord, look at what I am? I believe you would have given up. Oh! the agony that was in Your heart for me. Can this still be true? I can only hope. Lord, I don't know what to ask, what to pray, what to say. Here I am.

I knew thee - I always think of my son (if I have son), will he become like me. I always pray, God let there be none like me. Do not ever create someone like me. I am always afraid of tomorrow because of what I am, because I know what I am capable of. If the knowledge of what I am, hurts and puts me (a wretched being) in great despair; how much more it would have hurt my Holy God. If God knew me, why did he ever create me? And we call Him a wise God! Why God, why?

I sanctified thee - I am pretty sure that God was willing to forgive anything till we come to this realization, that He has set us apart. I can only hope that I realize this and live according to it. What was God going through when He said, "I sanctified thee". He had to come to earth as a human, had to live like a human and had to die because He was holy. He did not die of natural causes. He/God was accused of blasphemy. I can see myself in the temple courts shouting, "Crucify Him, free Barabas". I would rather see Barabas rob & kill me, than Jesus teach me the ways of God. How weird is that? I still chose the flesh before God even now. Yet, God sanctified me.

I ordained thee - This is where things go wrong. It is easy to say God forgive me, and whola you realize that you are sanctified but to live according to His will and for His glory ... I can only hope of this to happen. How funny - God knew me yet He appointed me to live for His glory & according to His will. How can this be? God only knows. I read in the bible that God sent His spirit to help us with this. God did not plan without a solution right? The Spirit. I don't understand this. It is easy to say, "Lord forgive, I believe that Jesus died for me. Through Him I am sanctified", but to live in the Spirit - What does this mean? I am confused Lord, as always. Help me!

Thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.

The first promise in the New Testament - Jesus shall save his people from their sins. Let me say that again - Jesus shall save me from my sins. It is not, Jesus shall save me in my sins, but from my sins. I shall be saved but I shall no longer live in sin, but away from it - separated unto God.

Lord, this is a promise & I believe it. I bow down humbly, as I am, the most wretched among sinner. I deserve hell, but Lord You came for me - to save me, to sanctify me, to set me apart from the folly of the world and flesh. Unto You I bow as a dog before its master. Have mercy on me. Amen.

John the baptist message of Repentance

Every one wanted God in those Days. Is should be a good thing right? But the irony was most of the wicked and wretch things was done in the name of the Lord. I need God for MY needs, MY desires, MY satisfaction, MY growth, MY quick money, MY pleasure. Look at their temple - it was a market places. Look at their teacher, the Pharisees - they provided resources called the Steps to Spirituality. Do these or follow these to attain a higher level spirituality!!

Is this not the same today? At least I am like this. Recently I wondered what is the purpose of the many things I do and I was ashamed and broken to realise that it was all about me. I was trying to understand that John meant by the following verses:
Luke 3:11-14
11 He answered and said to them, He who has two coats, let him give to him who has none. And he who has food, let him do likewise.
12 And tax-collectors also came to be baptized and said to him, Teacher, what shall we do?
13 And he said to them, Continue to do no more than that commanded to you.
14 And the soldiers also asked of him, saying, And what shall we do? And he said to them, Do not oppress anyone, nor accuse any falsely. And be content with your wages.

John was preaching a very great message here, one the most important commandments of the Lord - Love your neighbor. But I noticed that is related to the one mentioned earlier - Do every thing to Glorify God ie. Love the Lord your God. Come on, it was not only the rich, soldiers and tax-collectors who had questions. There were many who came to John, asking what shall we do an here was John who was preaching live a simple, minimal, giving, faithful and caring life. All these characters point to that of Jesus. Was John enabling the people to see the Messiah who lived among them? People who live a simple life will definitely know a person who lives a simple life. One of the reasons why Gandhi had a huge following was because of his simplicity in life. The people could associate with him not only as their leader, but even more as their father, guide, teacher and friend.

Where am I going with all this?

Lord, I have only lived for myself all my life. I give that I may receive. I do that I am find peace with God. Here I am, filled with selfishness and self pity (and many more :) I am in the process of finding out) I dont know what to pray. Give me a humble spirit, that Glorifies You in all things. Living as my Lord Jesus did, simple, caring and giving; walking in His footsteps. To live in such manner that other may see the life of Jesus in me. That was a huge thing to pray about. But I have this small faith in me that You are able to all this and even more. Build my faith Lord! Lord, when opportunities come to do all that I prayed for, Lord let me recognize and act upon them with your grace. Let me not stray! Let me not run away! - Amen

Grace for Grace

John 1:6: ¶There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.
John 1:7: The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe.
John 1:8: He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.
John 1:9: That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.
John 1:10: He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.
John 1:11: He came unto his own, and his own received him not.
John 1:12: But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
John 1:13: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
John 1:14: And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.
John 1:15: ¶John bare witness of him, and cried, saying, This was he of whom I spake, He that cometh after me is preferred before me: for he was before me.
John 1:16: And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace.
John 1:17: For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.
John 1:18: No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.

I thank You, God the Father, for sending Your Son, that through Him we can be reconciled with God. Thank you for sending and sacrificing Your Son for a sinner like me. Thank You for Your Love.

I was not born again, because of any act of my own, but of God. Hence, if God knew what He was dealing with, He also would have figured out how to deal with me. I can be changed, I can be reformed, I am a NEW CREATION. I can shout out and say with all confidence in God, that I AM A NEW CREATION.

I like the way Mathew Henry's Commentary elaborates grace for grace.

1. grace for grace sake - Since Christ was full of grace, for Christ sake we recieved teh fulness of grace.
2. grace upon grace - It's a fountain of grace, it flows, it overflows.
   
3. grace for gracious acts & gracious habits - Grace to exercise grace and minister grace to others.
4. grace to improve, confirm, and perfect another grace - We are changed into the divine image, from glory to glory, from one degree of glorious grace to another.
5. grace in us to live according to the grace in Him

Just as I am, no pride, but humble; I come to You. Cleanse me and make me whole. You have always given me more than I can ever have. Yet I went after things that never quenched my thirst. Many times I still go after such. Break me Lord, let me not run away. Why do I run? I want to love You, with all my heart. What is it that happens to me when You try to mold me? Why do I run? I know it is You, still I chose not to acknowledge You. Help me! Lord help!

John 1:1-5

John 1:1: In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
A word is an expression. Christ is an expression of God. When God wants us to be in the image of Jesus, it is same as I am a word of God, an expression of God. Help me Lord & forgive me for I have sinned. I have missed the mark. Help to be the word you want me to be.

John 1:2: The same was in the beginning with God.
John 1:3: All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
As a word in a sentence, para or book; so am I a part of His great plan from the beginning. Lord, give me grace to live according to Your will. Not my will but Thy will be done. "Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown". It is possible to loose your crown or deviate from God's plan. Lord, I cannot comprehend the ultimate picture, yet I ask You to help me, to live according to Your will. Admonish me when I go stray! Let me be diligent to seek Your will and live according Your will. Let me be obedient to Your word. Let me not disrespect You by disobeying You.

John 1:4: In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
John 1:5: And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
Imagine you are a candle. A candle gives forth light. This light is the life of Jesus. Not only are you living in the footsteps of Jesus, but also showing others the life of Jesus. When people see this light shining, they cannot understand, the cannot experience the very same life or quality of life. They cannot mimic this life. Through Christ alone there is redemption. Lord, I am timid of showing this light to the Lord. Moreover, I am like the candle under a basket. Let this life that You have redeemed shine forth Your life, Your love. Enable me to carry my cross, let me not hide from it but let my love You so much that I sit under Your throne and seek grace and carry the yoke along with my Lord and Savior. Help me! Help me! I don't ask for gold or silver, only your grace. Thank you for giving it to me. Great is my God, Praise His holy name.

I threw my oars b'cus my boat was dirty

Ridiculous right! Who would such a thing? Well, I did! I stayed there in the raging waters, because my life was not right with God. I stayed in my sin and continued to sin. Till this very day, I shut down myself when I am to much in sin and feel wretched about myself. Even more wretched is the fact that I go back to God when I need some personal favor or when I feel my boat stinks and I can't stay in it anymore. This used to be my routine.

Then one day when it hit me that I don't live for myself or to approve myself in my own eyes. I live for the glory of God. If there are habitual sin in my life, give it to God and God will deal with it. There are so many other things in my life which God can glorify Himself. My sins are not all that I have - I have a great job, good amount of time, lots of resources, good friends, loving family and love for God. Come on, one can do some many things without shutting down.

Lord, when I feel wretch about myself let me not throw away the Joy of Salvation (Oars). Let me be confident in a God who is still not finished with me and is molding continuously in His image. For I know You have not given up on me. Why should I ever give up on God and on myself? Thank You, for this word of knowledge. Amen!

Bring me Home

After many days of doing things what I considered important or that which could satisfy me - I gave it all ! I have sinned.

Am I going back to God for a reason of my own? Am I being wretchedly selfish and seeking God for my own means? Well, who am I fooling - I know I am a hypocrite and serious I don't know the answers for these questions. All I ask is, "God, if it is true that I am coming to you for a reason - Change me, Break Me, Mould me". Give me grace when you heal me, that I may submit and not withhold your love for me.

It is true that I need your help, but Lord I don't want be a guy who takes liberty to sin with your mercy and grace.

Bring me Home, I long for your fellowship. I am waiting for you. Restore in me the joy of your salvation.