Jeremiah 1:5: Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.
When I look behind, I ask how can this be? Lord, look at what I am? I believe you would have given up. Oh! the agony that was in Your heart for me. Can this still be true? I can only hope. Lord, I don't know what to ask, what to pray, what to say. Here I am.
I knew thee - I always think of my son (if I have son), will he become like me. I always pray, God let there be none like me. Do not ever create someone like me. I am always afraid of tomorrow because of what I am, because I know what I am capable of. If the knowledge of what I am, hurts and puts me (a wretched being) in great despair; how much more it would have hurt my Holy God. If God knew me, why did he ever create me? And we call Him a wise God! Why God, why?
I sanctified thee - I am pretty sure that God was willing to forgive anything till we come to this realization, that He has set us apart. I can only hope that I realize this and live according to it. What was God going through when He said, "I sanctified thee". He had to come to earth as a human, had to live like a human and had to die because He was holy. He did not die of natural causes. He/God was accused of blasphemy. I can see myself in the temple courts shouting, "Crucify Him, free Barabas". I would rather see Barabas rob & kill me, than Jesus teach me the ways of God. How weird is that? I still chose the flesh before God even now. Yet, God sanctified me.
I ordained thee - This is where things go wrong. It is easy to say God forgive me, and whola you realize that you are sanctified but to live according to His will and for His glory ... I can only hope of this to happen. How funny - God knew me yet He appointed me to live for His glory & according to His will. How can this be? God only knows. I read in the bible that God sent His spirit to help us with this. God did not plan without a solution right? The Spirit. I don't understand this. It is easy to say, "Lord forgive, I believe that Jesus died for me. Through Him I am sanctified", but to live in the Spirit - What does this mean? I am confused Lord, as always. Help me!
